Linda Knight's Allsorts of Poetry.© Copyright Linda Knight

The Loser.

Jenny had a small roan pony
She took him to all of the shows,
And always came last in the jumping,
Knocking down all the fences in rows.
She had no rosettes in her tack room,
And gave up all hope of a win,
But knew the next show was a big one,
So thought that she'd enter him in.

She brushed his coat till it shone brightly
And plaited his mane and his tail,
Then cleaned out each hoof and dabbed oil on,
And polished the tack without fail.

She looked at him whispering gently,
'You just have to pick up your feet,
I know we can win if you try hard,
Remember you're with the elite.'

He stared at her whinnying softly
And pricked up his ears in delight.
She patted him gently then kissed him,
And hoped that things would go alright.

He walked in the box nice and quietly,
And knew that he'd have to go fast,
Jumping the biggest of fences,
No way was he ending up last.

Jenny looked smart in her outfit
And led out her pony with pride,
She spoke to him softly and sweetly
Then tacked him up ready to ride.

Her name was announced on the tannoy,
She rode proudly into the ring.
With boldness of heart he gave his all,
And jumped clear of everything.

Jenny had won her first rosette
And cantered around to a cheer,
Her pony was lapping up stardom
After being a loser all year.

Scary Night.

It's pitch black as I wake up
to noises from downstairs.
The cat looks like a punk rocker
with all her shockwave hairs.
It's frightened her and I'm scared too
but curious to see
what's causing all the rattling noises
travelling up at me.
I creep downstairs
and hide behind the painted kitchen door
Hearing the bedlam in the room
I want to see some more.
I look inside
and see the saucepans rattling in the air
Knives and forks are dancing
on my worktop in their pairs.
Mugs are marching forwards
doing battle with the cups
Saucers stand like mighty shields
as fighting then erupts.
Cups are using teaspoons flicking salt at distant foes
and mugs are rolling biscuits
at the cups with mighty blows.
The mixer's beating up fresh eggs
and spreading them around.
Plates are making flour bombs
tossing them upon the ground.
Tins are dropping from above
Exploding here and there.
spreading round their contents
leaving weird smells in the air.
Carrots and potatoes
are jigging on the floor
waste bin lid's a-drumming
to the Irish music score,
Electric kettle's steaming
Peas pop with the heat,
Brussel sprouts are dancing
tapping with their tiny feet.
Music casts its magic spell
As it whirls in my head
I turn and trip over the cat
As I rush back to bed.
Early the next morning,
remembering what I'd seen
I rushed down to the kitchen
to find it neat and clean.

Sequence Of Events.

A fly flew past
And got stuck fast
In a web,
Up in a tree a fiddle-de-de.

The web a quivered
The fly he shivered.
A spider's tea,
Up in a tree a fiddle-de-de.

A bird flew by
And did a-spy
The spider high,
Up in a tree a fiddle-de-de.

She ate the spider
That wriggled inside her
And landed below,
Just by the tree a fiddle-de-de.

The local cat
Who hissed and spat,
Caught the bird
Just by the tree, a fiddle-de-de.

A barking dog chased the cat,
Who dropped the bird that spat out the spider,
Who choked up the fly, that flew away
From the old tree,
A fiddle-de-de.

Reindeer Running.

The reindeer are in training for the big night of the year.
They have to be so very fit, the strongest of the deer,
To pull old Santa's sledge around the Earth in one clean sweep,
While all the children of the world are in bed fast asleep.
Santa has been toning up his muscles for the night
When he delivers all the presents in the pale moonlight.
Rudolph's nose is polished and it sparkles and it glows,
Ready to light the way ahead, even when it snows.
Comet, Donder, Blitzen, have antlers gleaming white,
Vixen, and dear Dasher have brown fur thick and bright.
Cupid spreads much love around, on magic Christmas Eve,
And Prancer, partners Dancer in the traces as they leave.
The elves are busy wrapping up the last of all the presents,
As the fairies wave their magic wands, catching Christmas essence,
So that Santa and his reindeer, can fly across the sky,
And land on rooftops gently as they are passing by.
Happy Christmas, Ho! Ho! Ho! You'll hear old Santa say
As he eats all the mince pies as he travels on his way.
Don't forget to put out carrots for his reindeer team,
As they need lots of energy to travel on airstream.

Horses For Courses.

The horse is a wonderful creature,
So sleek and exceedingly fast
, But can be a sloth when he wants to,
And sometimes a shoe can be cast.
Look out for the kick when you're grooming,
And when it's exceedingly hot
Flies gather to cause irritation,
And make the horse restless a lot.
Remember, no brakes on the stirrups,
The hands should be light on the rein,
The bit is one serious contact
Misuse it and give the horse pain.
Sit relaxed and deep in the saddle,
And push with the small of the back
When you want the horse to change paces,
From walk to a trot on the track.
When confident ask him to canter,
And let the wind rush past your face.
Then sit forward, go for the gallop
And shorten the reins at the pace.
Remember to make the transition
Back down to the canter and trot,
And finally get the horse walking
Then ask him to halt 'cos you're hot.
Talk to him, tell him he's done well,
Dismount and pat him with pride,
For this powerful creature so gentle
Has given a wonderful ride.

The Spider.

An eight legged friend
An eight legged friend
He'll catch the flies around
He's fast and so strong
and fights up to the end
That one two three four times two
Eight legged friend.

An eight legged friend
An eight legged friend
He makes his web right round
The insects fly in to it
At their wits end
That one two three four times two
Eight legged friend.

Fluff.

An ancient creature is the Wuff
it lives in belly button fluff
and people don't know that it's there
because it's secretive and rare.
At night it creeps out from its hole
and rolls into a little ball
moving between the double sheet
collecting dust around your feet.
The Wuff takes fluff from everywhere
to furnish round its button lair.
The only time it loses out
is when its home gets all washed out
by someone washing in the shower
Wuff then clings on with all its power.
it climbs into its empty home
and when it's dark it takes a roam
to gather belly button fluff
and that's the story of the Wuff.

Hard To Believe.

'There's a snake in the grass,' Anthony said,
'There's a snake in the grass over there.'
'Don't be a beast,' young Polly said,
'You'll give mother a scare.'

'It's probably just a wriggly worm,'
Said Danny eating crisps,
'A horrid yeukky wriggly worm
Who's come to eat your chips!'

'How can you think of food right now
With crawly beasts around.
It makes me want to squeal and squirm
I'm getting off the ground.'

'There's the snake in the grass and it's getting close,
Look towards your right,'
So the other two and the mother too
Saw a large green thing in sight.

As they scrambled from the picnic site
The snake pursued so fast,
That they disappeared down his mighty throat
And he burped an enormous blast.

He burped and burped with a force so fierce
He was sick as sick could be,
And out of his mouth the family shot
At high velocity.

They ran from the writhing snake on the grass
As it belched and coughed and gasped,
Then its body swelled up twice as big
And exploded with a blast.

There were snakeskin trees and branches
With green slime dripping down,
And make no mistake that the head of the snake
Was paraded around the town.

Tigers

Tigers, essentially Tiggers
are rare and one of a kind,
and finding one in a garden shed
would be a fantastic find.
Tiggers are so full of nonsense
and charged energetically too,
so opening up the shed window
they'd panic and vanish straight through.
Tiggers are mystical creatures
and like eating magical food,
their diet consists of chocolate and cheese
licking their lips when they've chewed.
Tiggers like hugging their keepers
so when you go into the shed
tread carefully when entering the door
or you'd wish you were elsewhere instead.

Vampire

I'll turn you cold
And blue
When I
Draw close
To
You.
Co's I'm a heat vampire.
I'll suck out all the heat
From your head down to your feet
Be prepared
To meet
The world's very first
Sweet
Heat
Vampire!

In Bed.

I shared my bed with a spider,
Who's now just a blot on the sheet.
He must have come in through the window
To cuddle up, down by my feet.

It's such a shame 'cos he's so tiny
And it was so cold in the night
The poor creature wanted a warm spot
But he found himself in a plight.

I just hope he passed away quickly
When I rolled across him in bed,
And hope there's a place up in heaven,
Where spiders go when they are dead.

Shall I carve his name on the bedpost
To make other spiders aware,
That if they go under the covers
They may end up squashed under there.

Dixie

Dixie was a little dog
Who liked hotdogs, Big Mac's,
Salami, sausages and chips,
And pepperoni snacks.
He wished that one day
He would find the biggest sausage ever,
And Mary fairy heard his wish
And granted it forever.
Dixie felt peculiar,
His legs felt very short,
His body now a sausage And his feelings, quite distraught.
He took a while to re-adjust
To walking twice as fast,
And took a stroll down to the shops,
He hoped this wouldn't last.
On the way he saw another sausage
Walking by,
It was a hotdog's instant love
That caught Salami's eye.
She looked at him with huge brown eyes
That melted Dixie's heart,
And now two sausage dogs in love
Will never be apart.

Farmer Fred.

Farmer Fred had a noisy tractor,
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.
He drove the tractor down a lane,
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.
He stopped to open up a gate,
To drive the tractor in the field.
With a chug, chug, chug chug, chug.

Farmer Fred turned a key,
Click, click, click, click, click
That turned the engine off you see.
Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet.
Cows in the field were eating grass.
Munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
They turned to look at Farmer Fred,
Who rounded them up for the milking shed.
Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo.

The cows walked down the little lane.
Trot, trot, trot, trot, trot.
They gathered in farmer Fred's barn.
Moo, moo, moo, moo, moo.
As each cow got fed and milked,
She chewed the cud, chewed the cud,
Then skipped and danced back to the yard.
The cows tails went swish, swish, swish, swish, swish.

Farmer Fred opened a gate.
Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak.
The cows went back along the lane.
Trot, trot, trot, trot, trot,
Then through the gate into their field,
With a skip and hop, skip and hop,
And Farmer Fred drove his tractor out
And shut the gate with a bang and clout
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
He drove his tractor to the farmhouse
To have a rest and a cup of tea.
Yawn, yawn, yawn, yawn, yawn.